I'm 50... In A Year

So as I stand on the doorstep of my 50th birthday - I have a plan. I want to show up to 50 stronger, kinder, and with more joy.

I’m at the point in my life when there is probably more behind me than in front of me. While my default setting seems to put me in a place of depression or anxiety - I’m bizarrely excited about whatever life I have ahead of me.

Last week, I turned 49. My sweet family brought me to a new neighborhood spot to celebrate and put “birthday celebration” in the online reservation note. Our very kind server greeted us by saying, “I hear someone has a 21st birthday?!” I took a deep breath, smiled, and replied, “You couldn’t PAY me to be 21 again. My twenties were HARD. My 30s were harder. I’m just now getting to the good stuff.”

Her eyebrows raised and she laughed. I think she thought I was joking. “No, seriously. Besides the collagen in my neck, I don’t miss anything about being 21,” I demanded, speaking a little too loudly for the setting. She locked eyes with me and then read the specials. I had clearly made it awkward for this sweet girl. We ordered fast and tipped well.

I Am Anti Anti-Aging

I don’t know why it triggered such a reflex when it seemed someone thought I’d want to be younger. Clearly, young people think it’s pretty terrible adding another candle to the already crowded birthday cake. Perhaps it’s all the “anti-aging” branding being messaged in current media. I’m not ANTI-aging. I’m super PRO-aging!

Not everyone has the privilege of growing older. Everyone reading these words has lost someone too soon. We are the lucky ones. The ones that continue to have birthdays.

Let’s be clear: I love getting older but I’m still vain. I buy face creams that promise impossible results. I have gotten Botox occasionally. I take the Nutrafol supplements to help regrow my thinning hair caused by perimenopause. I don’t love that it feels like my skin is sliding off my skull but I still feel lucky to be going through this process.

My Yearlong To-Do List

So on this last year before I stand on the doorstep of my 50th birthday - I have a plan. I want to show up to 50 stronger, kinder, and with more joy. My therapist pointed out that I make to-do lists instead of feeling my feelings. OUCH. But yes, I’ve given myself a yearlong to-do list. If any of this interests you, and you want to join along - I’ll be posting weekly updates here.

I asked you, sweet community, to send me suggestions about what I should tackle before turning 50. On this week’s podcast I go through your suggestions: Some of them are “hell yes” and quite a few are “hell no”. Why do so many of you think I should try skydiving? Don’t you KNOW me?

Click the links to listen to the things I will NEVER try, the most non-traditional suggestions, and then finally my FIVE big goals before 50. I’ll give you a preview of two of those goals:

1. I want to be able to do an unassisted pull-up by this time next year.

2. I want to commit myself to (at least) 50 acts of kindness. Give the podcast a listen and help me come up with some suggestions around this.

Thank you for being here on this little corner of the internet. I have some big goals in the next year. LET’S GO!

Xo, Kim

• Acast: https://open.acast.com/public/streams/618c3caaa322d1001350082c/episodes/67e5ed20883ec8176a3ae692.mp3

• Apple Podcasts:

• Spotify:

• Pandora: https://pandora.app.link/xSjIh4K6cSb

• Amazon: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/094464e9-aad9-4b09-8ee8-248c76b48bd6/episodes/05f9154b-4835-45fc-bb3f-cd0733a3911e/the-holderness-family-podcast-wills-won'ts-before-turning-50